Reblogging because now I can actually rant about this. Rant to follow shortly.
Originally posted here.
This semester—or, let’s face it, most of senior year—I’ve felt more scatter-brained than I ever have during my four years at Columbia. There’re so many conflicting emotions whizzing through me that I’m exhausted by trying to keep up with them. I realize I’m a child of the Internet Age and an active member of the Cult of Tumblr, but I feel like the only way I can express this gambit of emotions is through GIFs of George Michael Bluth crumbling onto the ground.
One moment I’m excited, almost anxious, to graduate and start life in the real world. No more papers, no more exams, no more tedious attempts to care about whatever random subject the professor is lecturing about when I know for a fact that it will not be on the final. The next moment, I’m sad and scared about leaving the comfort of campus, the companionship of friends, and the inspiration of some of the smartest scholars in the world from whom I am beyond privileged to learn from every week.
But the worst part of these “senior year feels” is the regret. It is that constant second-guessing of matters great and small that cripple the mind and weigh heavy on the soul. I should have focused on one major instead of over-stretching and underachieving with two. I should have volunteered more. I should have joined more clubs. I should have been more active in the clubs I did join. I should have gone to more parties. I should have exercised more. I should have spent less time on Tumblr. On and on it can go—and does go for some—well past graduation, into real life.
What I have slowly but surely accepted in myself is that regrets won’t change what actually happened these past four years. No matter how much I wish I would’ve skipped that nap for the World Leaders Forum or taken that Barnard dance class (or hooked up in the stacks), those feelings of regret won’t change anything. All I can do is reflect upon what I did accomplish—what actually happened that I’m grateful I had the opportunity to experience. That includes the opportunities I created myself and those that were created for me.
If first-year, impulsive, pre-determined future political science major Maricela had not decided to take Intro to the Study and Theory of Film during her first semester of college, then she wouldn’t have immediately fallen in love with film and become a film studies major. Nor would she have been able to say she had a class with James Franco himself. Remember when we all loved him? Those were the good ol’ days.
If insecure first-year Maricela had not been intimidated by the intense film editor of Spec A&E, then she would never have been mentored by the nurturing theater editor. I’m not sure if Ruthie Fierberg, BC ’10, remembers me—not going to lie, I had to do some Googling to remember her name—but she taught me how to write for a newspaper. My foundation for the intricacies of reviews, previews, interviews, etc., stems from that fall of 2009 semester writing for the theater section. From then on, I gained confidence in myself as a writer and as an individual navigating the seemingly unapproachable Spec world.
Thank you, Ruthie, Maddy, Christine, Allison, and all of the other direct and indirect mentors and role models who have toiled away in the Spec office. They taught me everything I know about writing, editing, engaging with others, and perfecting the late-night playlist. And bless whoever insisted on ordering arugula and goat cheese pizza every night I happened to be in the office—it tasted better in that office than anywhere else I’ve had it.
In these last moments before reflection fully transforms into nostalgia, I have concluded that I am satisfied with my college experience. And if I really wanted to sneak in a few more unfulfilled Columbia traditions, well, I guess there’s always Senior Week.
Well first off…ALL THE BUTTS.
Oh shit, I forgot about Sandor’s fear of fire.
Beric and Thoros—now that’s a true bromance forged by fire.
Mackenzie Crook—under-appreciated excellent creepy character actor.
CAVE SCENE OH CAVE SCENE. Did I expect more smut? Yes, of course. But was it great nevertheless. Yes, it was.
Qyburn, way to already be associated with the grotesque.
Is…is this the last we’ll see of Gendry for awhile?
Wait…did Edmure actually give good advice to leave Rickard Karstark as a hostage?
THE ONE TIME YOU SHOULD’VE LISTENED TO EDMURE. THE ONE TIME.
Arya’s entering her angry teenager phase, but the sad hope of bringing her father back remains.
I love the different depictions of the Lord of Light religion. Thoros of Myr and the BwB are devout but not crazy compared to Selyse, Stannis, and Melisandre who are crazy.
Speaking of Selyse, baby jars. ‘Nuff said.
Shireen’s cute and a welcome edition unlike her mother.
BUT I’m not gonna lie I kinda miss Patchface.
Brienne! Jaime! Baths!
Jaime’s confession about the Mad King Aerys is heartbreaking and character-defining. Nikolaj Coster-Waldau for this year’s obligatory Game of Thrones Supporting Actor Emmy.
Jorah’s kinda boring and annoying when he speaks. He just needs to stand there, look pretty, and do whatever Daenerys says.
Grey Worm looks like my cousins. I LOVE THAT. People of color in fantasy FTW.
I’m backing off from the Lannister Honeypot Theory. I think it’s just gonna be all Robb.
Oh yeah, let’s get the one prickly guy you already offended to help you out. Cool story, bro. Let’s get Walder Frey.
Sansa meet Face Palm.
Loras, I don’t blame you. He’s pretty.
Tywin is SUCH a bad parent.
Although it was kinda hilarious to see Cersei’s smug face crumble.
Climbing the Wall! Talking to the Frey! Crying and sobbing uncontrollably regarding the pain of Theon and the terribleness of Ramsay! YAY…?
Oh Jaime, oh broken Jaime.
Um, wasn’t expecting major backstory and characterization from Varys.
But I was pleasantly surprised—my main man Varys. Not gonna lie, he’s in my top 5 favorite characters of this whole thing.
What the fuck was up with that greendream with Bran and Jojen?
I read somewhere that Cat’s “PROMISE ME” might relate to “Promise me, Ned” which is interesting…especially if we could one day see that in a dream/flashback.
Pod—still sexiest man in King’s Landing.
The Sept looks AMAZING!
Cersei’s approach to feminism is interesting. Outwardly she accepts the patriarchy even to feminist queen Oleanna but inwardly languishes against not being taken seriously just ‘cause she’s a female.
Who wanted Joffrey killed off right then and there? Oh that’s right, everyone.
Theon is KILLING me. Alfie Allen is just SO AMAZING I can’t STAND it.
“My real father lost his head at King’s Landing. I made a choice, and I chose wrong.”
Go FUCK yourself Ramsay. I see your crazy eyes at last.
Now Brienne/Jaime is gonna REALLY kick off.
While I totally appreciate the characterization in the Cersei/Tywin scene, I’m not gonna lie I was preoccupied by trying to read Tywin’s letters.
Varys and Oleanna play off each other beautifully.
I’m actually taking notes on how to be like them. Role models.
Speaking of role models, MARGAERY.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO I FORGOT ABOUT JEOR’S FATE.
GODDAMMIT Burn Gorman!
And now his Watch is ended.
Let the Sam-Gilly hour commence!
Really, the more Sandor, the better, so I’m loving this cave shit.
Dany, you did NOT disappoint.
Also, I’m really diggin’ High Valyrian. And I kinda wanna learn it.
Cave scenes! Robb is BACK! And did I mention CAVE SCENES?!
Edmure. You really are the worst. I would be happy that others can now share in my feelings of disappointment and shame about your ridiculousness and incompetency if it didn’t foreshadow dark times ahead.
I want a gif of Robb’s “Get you’re shit together, Edmure” face.
Well, that was fast…
‘Sup Blackfish. It’s good to see you, though.
Game of Chairs. Not as violent or sexy as Game of Thrones, but I’d still watch it.
Setting up the Return of Lysa and Creepy Robin. Greeeaaat…
The Bear, the Bear and the Maiden Fair.
Dare I say it I like the Bolton bannermen singing more than the Celtic rockers.
I know I said it last week but Brienne and Jaime’s chemistry is CRAZY.
I don’t like to get reminded of Sandor’s horrible deeds like killing the Butcher’s Boy but I know it’s important. *Arya putting me in my place*
HOT PIE, THAT WAS SO SWEET I’M GONNA MISS YOU. No, not really but it was pretty adorable. Hope you’re life is better as a baker at the Inn, Hot Pie!
Damnit, Cat. You keep making me tear up. I…I don’t even know WHAT to say about it. You and Carrie Matheson, man. Every fucking time.
That Lannister Honeypot video really messed with my mind. Doesn’t help that she’s tending to the wounds of Lannisters.
What the HELL are the shapes the White Walkers make? Runes? Magical symbols to combat the power of the Wall? I NEED TO KNOW.
Lol, I like how they have to remind us that Ghost is still around but don’t want him to be actually doing anything ‘cause that costs special effects money.
Did…my eyes just deceive me or did I just see some Thin Lips a la Crispin Glover amongst the Night’s Watch?
Yes, I did. Oh hello Burn Gorman. What are YOU up to? Burn Gorman—the only man to ever be on Revenge AND Game of Thrones.
Oh Craster, how I didn’t miss your disgusting everything.
GIlly’s back! You know what that means? Time to crank out the Gilly gif!
Couldn’t give less of a fuck about Stannis.
Dany so knows EXACTLY what Kraznys is saying and I can’t WAIT for her to show him where he can stick it.
OMG the sexposition with Pod and the duties of Master of Coin.
LOL Meereenese Knot
What’s Ramsay’s endgame here? Are they making him less of a monster for the show? Or an even more manipulatively evil one?
RAMSAY WHAT ARE YOU UP TO? (I don’t know why I’m so hellbent against Ramsay ‘cause a lot of people do a lot of bad things. I just think he’s so awful because he enjoys it so much.)
That last scene was done perfectly. And Jaime’s reaction of “What. WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT” just makes it all the more perfect.
Shit goes down in Astapor! Shit goes down at Craster’s Keep! Weird shit continues with Theon and “Not Ramsay!” Shit gets real for the BwB!
Bran got so big. They’re all growing up so fast.
Hearing Ned’s voice made me sad.
Seeing Jojen made me excited. *furiously checking IMDB to check his age…thanking the stars that he’s older than me*
The Reeds aren’t exactly as I’d imagine them (nor are they like exactly how they are in the books), but they’ve grown on me.
Orell is perfect. Perfect casting is perfect.
Jon looks GOOD in wildling furs…prolly even better out of them.
Talisa, what are you doing? What’s going on with you? My patience for you is just getting thinner and thinner.
Shae’s emotions and actions seem so conflicting. So that’s sweet that she’s protective of Sansa but then jealous two seconds later?
The descent of Shae is gonna make me sad.
Oleanna is perfect…and she wants her bloody cheese now goddamnit and not after lemon cakes.
Catelyn almost made me cry. Ugh, if THAT made me tear up I can’t imagine what’s to happen in a few weeks.
Cersei’s burn about Margaery’s fashion choices.
Anal sex reference HEY HOOOOOOOOO
I wonder if Joffrey even has a sex drive or if it’s confused with his love of inflicting pain and violence.
Can we talk about how awesome Arya continues to be?
Can we ALSO talk about how much I’m digging Gendry? The exasperated voice of reason.
Thoros of Myr is fun but still wish he was Mongolian or Russian as I assumed all peoples of Asshai were like.
Anguy is a sassy little devil though. Work.
Missed you Sandor! Hope you’ll get the characterization now that I guess we deserved but didn’t need in past seasons.
I was cowering behind a pillow during all of Theon’s scenes, so nothing big happened right?
JK (kinda). I really hate those Boltons.
And Ramsay is such a sadistic little FUCK. Physically torturing Theon isn’t enough but he has to BREAK HIM emotionally too.
Being played by the irascible and adorable Iwan Rheon doesn’t change that.
Brienne-Jaime FOREVER. Their chemistry LEAPS off the screen.
On a storytelling level, I like how they’re explicitly tying together the characterization and evilness of House Bolton.
On a fangirl level, I
WANTH WANT MY VARGO HOAT *spits*
More in Astapor! Bran-Jojen real talk! And a certain Beric Dondarrion anyone? I’m ready!
Originally published here.
On the surface, an HBO movie starring Al Pacino and Helen Mirren about music producer Phil Spector’s murder trial sounds appealing. But, perhaps due to too many Netflix binges of “Law & Order” and other crime procedurals, for all of the spectacle and cultural significance of the trial, “Phil Spector,” which premiered on March 24, isn’t that captivating.
If it weren’t for the fascination of seeing Pacino and Mirren together, it wouldn’t be worth watching. But it may be best to watch it sooner rather than later, as both actors are sure to be nominated for Emmys and Golden Globes next awards season.
The horrific screams, shouts of anguish, and clashes of steel really could have been from anywhere rather than just North of the Wall. Commentary much?
GHOST. I missed you! I’ve wondered where you’ve been!
You had one job, Sam.
The giant looks AMAZING.
Ygritte threats/flirts are perfect but not really applicable to real life.
Tormund Giantsbane and Mance Rayder—prettier than I thought they would be but with plenty of swag. I’ll allow it. And I mean, seriously, Ciaran Hinds.
Is Bronn’s time at the brothel a foreshadowing of the Cave Scene?
POD! I.fucking.love.Pod. Even cock-block Pod.
“They say you lost your nose, but it’s not as gruesome as all that.”
DAVOS. There has been no word about you! Your plight and your subsequent scenes (especially with Salladhor Saan) were exactly as I’d imagined. But we probably won’t see you until the finale, so…
“I’m so sorry, my friend. I too have lost a son. There is nothing worse in this world.” My heart is slowly being ripped out. It’ll take oh about…5 weeks.
What a clusterfuck of awfulness amongst the beautiful introduction of Season 3 Robb who has gotten even more attractive than I thought possible. I mean Roose, Karstark, AND Qyburn at Harrenhal of all places?
Tywin writing a proper noun starting with The- I wonder what that’s about.
Any amount of sympathy or respect for Tywin evaporates with every word to Tyrion.
Sansa, I’ve grown to like you, but your stupid game just reminds me how much I can’t wait for Arianne and Dorne.
The babies aren’t babies anymore.
…but soon they won’t be charring fish fillets but will move onto something more problematic.
I don’t understand why people like Stannis. Never did, never will.
OMG Joffrey’s face in the caravan.
Margaery Tyrell is actually Anne Boleyn without mental problems.
Wait, so is Loras not part of the Kingsguard? Now I’m the confused one.
The amount of shade throwing at that dinner is ridiculous.
The harpy of Astapor! The Unsullied! Missandei!
I totally forgot about Ser Barristan Selmy!
I still miss my Strong Belwas.
Next week: Arya! BwB! Brienne/Jaime! More Cersei throwing shade! It looks like a good one.
As a huge Ronald D. Moore fan, I’m pumped for his new show, but realizing every idea in this show would be totally superior to any of those that I’m currently thinking of for my screenwriting class is a bit disheartening.
Jean Dujardin, I miss you.
Jennifer Lawrence is perfect…imperfectly perfect.
Meryl has just decreed DDL is the winner. It has been decided. Good day, sir. I SAID GOOD DAY.
Go home, Jack. You’re drunk. Actually stay and entertain us.
WHAAAAT MICHELLE OBAMA?!!!
She looks AAAAAAAMMMMMMMAAAAZZZZZZZIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG
Argo. Well alright.
OH HAI BRYAN CRANSTON.
Wish I could’ve had more Kristen Chenowith throughout the show.
Well that was fun. See you next year!!